Sunday, May 30, 2010

Happy Anniversary to my Best Friend, Lover and Confidante..

Sheather Wedding 1999

This is a scanned image. Yes, I do need to say that. Yes, I am nitpicky about my photos & their quality. Anyways, we are celebrating 11 married years this year. Secrets about love & staying love for so long, from a wise old married couple? Well.. we aren't wise, or old.. but I do have some tips. Common sense stuff, I think..

It's definitely about growing together as people and tolerance of "issues" you both may have. We both have similar likes, desires, issues, and we both support each other in that, and put up and shut up about things we don't like about each other.. or at least we let it go, even if we mention our dislike of such things. Seinfeld is a funny show, but you don't wanna live it. *If it's like a romance novel & You can't help, but do the booty call.. that's a good indicator of love. People's perceptions & belief systems has nothing to do with love, IMO. Love is something basic, something magnetic, something sometimes shown in a physical form, but it's all different for every single person/couple.. so there is no guidebook. People have found love with a mail order bride.. so anything is possible. You just have to open yourself up to the possibilities & grab them as they come along. I think friends is one of the best ways to begin a relationship. Because you treat your friends really good, especially, if you want them to stick around. I definitely reccomend starting out as friends, but I could have easily landed with a guy who I had a physical thing with, easily. Very easily he was definitely a contender. Also understanding the male animal def helps. We as females know what a girl wants, we need to learn more what a guy wants--IMO.

I also believe that ♥ is what is leftover after the fire/sex/magic is "over" or cooled somewhat. You two as people look around & see if you both like each other still & wanna work at staying together, sticking it out. So far, it hasn't cooled here. We keep working at it, and adding more logs to the fire. Plus we keep working at it, as things crop up with life. Love is the easy part. Life, marriage is work. But the work is fun & always rewarding. "If it's not tough sometimes, it's not worth the end result." Or something to that effect.

When something bumpy crops up we work really hard at getting around it. I think of it like driving. If you see a bump in the road, drive around it if at all possible. If you don't see it, then you work it out as best you can. You might have to jack the car up on the side of the road, and put on a spare tyre or even a new alternator. But you keep on trying till you get it right. I think that sometimes in our world, we expect the other person to do so much for us, or we get lulled into complacency or we are spending too much time with friends & away from our loved ones, that sometimes folks have no other choice than to try to get another person's attention or find someone else. First and foremost, if you are best friends to begin with, there is less of a chance of someone else getting in and breaking you apart. Altho it does happen. Every day it happens. You have to think hard about this, is it all worth it? Or is staying with the same person worth more, if you married for the right reasons.

The answer is simple.

Happy Anniversary, Sean. Here's to the rest of our lives!

Love Heather :)
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